Approaches to bilingual parenting

This document was originally written by Henrik in Amsterdam, as a result of an enquiry undertaken amongst the members of the bilingual families mailing list. Its purpose is to highlight some of the approaches used in bilingual parenting and to give an impression of the experiences parents have with the respective methods.

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If you would like to contribute something to the document, please send an e-mail to:

kidsbilingual@dbmail.dk

Some terms used in the discussion:

ml@h, ML@H, also mL@H, MLaH, etc.:

Minority language at home. Using the minority language, which is to say the language not spoken in the community, at home to create a bilingual environment for the children.

OPOL:

One Person, One Language. Each parent or each person involved with the child (grandparents, nanny's etc.) uses one language when speaking to the children, to create a bi- (or multi-) -lingual environment for the children. Mostly this will be the native language of the parent, but there are also parents who choose to speak in a not native language with their children.

BPBL:

This is a newly invented term by one of the listmembers, Koen de Troy. It means "Both Parents speaking Both Languages". There are families where they for example use one language during certain days of the week and another language during the rest of the week.

m=X, M=Y:

The lowercase m means minority language, the uppercase means the majority (community) language. So "m=English, M=Norwegian" means the person in question is part of a family that uses English, living in a Norwegian language environment. It doesn't say whether that person is himself/herself a native English speaker or not, nor does it tell what sort of bilingual pattern the family uses. Many list members use this code in their signatures, and everyone is encouraged to do so.

General aspects of raising children using more than one language

To our document I would add that each family -- and each individual within each family -- must find a system and a balance that works for them. We use ml@h, but are not strict when around non-speakers of the ml (Japanese in the US, in our case). We do what feels good and feels right to us. That is not to say we never ask for or accept advice, but what works for us may not be what works for someone else. I think we all need to do the same. I do not believe that there are any absolute rights or wrongs in this area, just combinations of love, opportunities, desires, and capabilities.

Negative aspects of using OPOL are:

My child gets less exposed to the m-language compared to if we had chosen ml@h.

Henrik, ml-Swedish ML-Dutch, father of Max 2.5 year

Positive aspects of using OPOL are:

- I can always speak in my own language to my child.

I use OPOL not because of any book I read, not because of any theory which was presented to me, etc. Just because my mother-tongue is the language in which I can express myself most accurately. So I thought it would be the language she would understand the best, me speaking. And it works, indeed she understands me very well (emotionally as well as verbally)! In fact I have noticed that even other (ML-speaking) kids understands me speaking my mother-tongue, as long as I am pure and honest in my expression.

Other aspects of using OPOL are:

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Positive aspects of using ml@H are:

Negative aspects of using ml@h are:

A possible disadvantage of ml@h: the need to switch the home language following a move from one parent's country to the other parent's country.

Other aspects of using ml@h are:

I have always found it hard to use mL@h, since my partner is less comfortable in my language as I am in her mother tongue. Especially when one of us was tired we tended to fall back into the majority language. It is easier for me, and feels more natural to use my mother tongue with the kids all the time.

Positive aspects of using BPBL are:

We are trying this currently. We both speak mostly English to our child during the week, and mostly Russian on the weekends, with some lapses. It seems that our child pays more attention to the mL (Russian) with this pattern, than he did with OPOL.

Negative aspects using BPBL are:

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Other aspects using BPBL are:

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